"I Never Knew Raine Fell" part 14 conclusion

My name is Emily Serim and if you are reading this I am dead.  I have now explained my story from the beginning to the moment my life would be forfeit.  I hope that those who will read this in the future will try to understand why I did what I am about to do.  It is not an easy thing to sacrifice ones being, to not only die but to be erased from existence. I can’t say this is something that I decided to do out of desire but out of necessity.  I brought my daughter into this world and I would do everything I could to save her now.  She had killed so many, caused such misery but there it was in her eyes, desire. Longing. A need to be different than her existence dictated.  If this will save her then it is something I must do.

I do not want to give too much detail on the ritual and what it will entail, I do not want this abomination of nature to be repeated and neither does Father Gray. I do not know what will happen when the ritual is complete.  Will I fade away? Will I be forgotten?  Will it hurt?  Nothing could be worse than the visions of hell that Raine showed me.  The burning pain, the never ending torment no mortal should witness.  The visions I observed will forever endure and I pray they will not follow me to my grave. 

This ritual will involve the separation of my soul from my body and the transfer of that energy to Raine by binding it to the soul of the demon in the hopes that it will create a duality and give Raine the opportunity to make the choice between right and wrong.  The drawback is there is no way to excise the demon from the body since the demon is Raine.  For the rest of her life she will have to fight the demonic urges that will plague her. This is not the fix I had prayed for but it is the best we can hope for.  This will give her a fighting chance in this world.  I pray my sacrifice will not be in vain.

At this time I have to ask.  Where is god in all of this?  It is logical that if demons exist then god and angels must exist as well.  Where are they?  Why have they not shown themselves when there is so much strife?  What grand plan can be accomplished by so much suffering?

I end this with a thought.  We are human, we are not demons.  We are capable of making a world of beauty and peace.  Why then are we so set on our own destruction?  Is it because of the proverbial original sin?  Do we have a collective guilt that has followed us through the eons?  I believe we as a species can change, we can evolve into something beautiful and majestic.  We are not Raine, we have a choice.  I pray we make the right one.