Misery

How can I explain the pumping  of my own heart if it is locked within my chest. How can you feel what goes through it. The emotions that plague it and the fears that control it. I wish to give you a door upon my chest with which you could open at your whim and gaze at the beating sadness within.  I want you to experience that which I do, to feel my suffering to be a witness to my misery. 

I walk this path alone now. My heart concealed behind a vault of iron.  I have lost your eyes upon it and am left cold and empty.  Once we suffered together, hand in hand we marched against the tide defiant in our will.  We were two souls come together as one. I would mot trade that memory for any other.  I do not believe I can navigate this new landscape without you by my side.

I have lost all, everything that has meant anything has been taken from me leaving me naked and alone by the edge of a strange ocean teeming with unknown dangers.  I cannot see the other side as I cannot perceive the future, both are one and the same and I have no boat to cross the expanse. U was happy once. For awhile. Life seemed new and exciting. Worth living. That is gone now.  That hope, the joy. Taken from me. Stolen.

Will I see you again?  Will I see your face light up at my presence.  Will you seek my advice as you used to. Or will we pass like ships in the mist ignorant of each others existence?  I had hope for my future once. I felt proud. I felt there was a reason for all we experienced. I knew it was driving us toward some unknown revelation that would enrich us both.   Was I a fool to dream that?  Was that the fanciful daydream of the naive?

Behind its iron cage my heart beats still. It is a loud  roar within my ears drowning out any peace I may hope to gain.  You once quieted the roar, brought peace to the chaos that was my mind. But no more. You are gone. You are gone...  I am half a soul, missing the other half that brought me a sense of completion. Does your heart ache for me in the quiet if the night?   Does  the darkness close around you?  Does the memory of my voice give you solace?  I know not the answer to these questions. So I am left to dream.