Darkness

Darkness, it falls and I rot.  The path of light before my eyes that appears as the world fades is nothing more than the false hope of a peaceful afterlife.  The demons dance and sing as the visions of Hell become clear and my skin begins to burn with a ferocity which no living man or woman could fathom.  It seers and burn in a never-ending pain that boils the flash and seers the soul.  Here there is no release of death to save me from the flames.  I am dead, and the demons will play.

My life was hard but there are no excuses made in the afterlife for the sins we commit.  They now our darkest secrets and our worst fears and they salivate for our flesh to nourish them.  We cannot hide our sins from those that see all and their delight with my arrival is the most divine of pleasures for them.  My sins have made my flesh all the sweeter,  in life it was the flesh of the innocent that piqued my desires but here it has become my flesh that has become a delicacy. It is a hunk of decadent sin that melts in the mouth of my tormentors.  

I have been splayed upon a table and apple in my mouth, displayed on the finest silver platter.  They sit in their chairs as if in a fine dining hall.  But they are not dressed as the aristocracy the dining hall would host in the mortal realm.  They are disgusting and foul creatures  with smoked and seared scaled skin grey and torn, bloody chunks missing.  The sickest smell of rot and decay wafting from there bodies.  Their mouths are twisted deformities with broken sharp little teeth rotted to the root.  There laugh is a mocking sound, shrill and frightening.

I am the dinner of these hideous things, I am the pleasures of their realm forever tormented, forever devoured by there sickness.  It is my punishment for  my sin, my recompense for the innocents that suffered by my hand.  I thought I was doing the work of God but I was lied to,  In my heart I knew the evil I was expressing but it was a fine wine to my soul making me drunk with the power I had over those with none.  I took advantage of the sick and the helpless and dined on silver with their hard work now I am the meal on the silver.  Forever tormented forever devoured.

We like to lie to ourselves to justify clearly evil actions and it is only now that I realize  there is no justification for the evil we inflict on others.

They begin to tear the flesh from my bones, there is no relief of faint or death, I feel every scrape across the bone, every tear of sinew, every tooth and nail digging into my flesh.  "This is my torment."  I say to myself over and over in my mind.  

My revelation is to late to save me,  This realization was always inside my as I lived but I ignored it.  I ignored my conscience, I ignored the feeling of evil clawing at my feet throughout my life waiting to pull me beneath the ground and dine upon me.  Do not fool yourself, if you commit sin you can feel the flames licking your feet but as you have grow into adulthood you have trained yourself to ignore the fire and the fear.  You convince yourself you are the good guy, you convince yourself there are good reasons for what you do, but your are lying and the only person you are damning is you.

I have damned myself, there is no one to blame but me. The meal has ended and my flesh returns.  The dinning will begin again soon.